Monday, July 28, 2008

Potty training success.

I think I can officially say that Twinkie's potty training has been successful. She hasn't had an accident in two weeks. Well, there was one day she peed on the ground when she was outside running in the sprinklers but I am not going to count that. She knew what she was doing because she moved her swimsuit to the side so she could 'make a puddle.' She has been wearing a diaper to bed but she has been dry for about a week. The other night she even woke me up in middle of the night to tell me she had to go pee. The funny part is that the bathroom is closer to her than my room but oh well. She usually goes herself and I only ask her once or twice a day. She is obsessed with going to the bathroom at Mr. Man's work. Anytime we are there to pick him up or drive by she wants to go pee at daddy's work.

It's funny at night when she has a diaper on because she tells us "I am a baby now." But when she takes off the diaper she is a big girl.

We went and picked up a playhouse that we bought off someone on a yahoo group. I love it. I will take a picture tomorrow and post it. I had to bribe my brother to haul it for me. It's like a smaller pink version of a wood shed. It even has a porch. The man threw in the stuff he had with it so I also got a Little Tikes table and chairs, a washer and some kind of kitchen thing. He also gave me one of those big plastic cars that you ride in.

The house needs to be touched up and maybe some kind of linoleum for the floor but it's in great shape and we got it for like 1/4 of the price of a new one. We would've never bought one if I hadn't seen this one. I was lucky too because I was able to see it the next morning and they still had several people coming later that day. Even though we aren't moving for awhile, I am dreading having to beg someone to move it for me again. Oh well. The things we do for our children :). And I guess from my brother's standpoint, things he will do for his very cute nieces.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

We are moving.

Well not any time soon but we have a plan. That is always a start. When we moved here, it was never meant to be forever. Now two children later, we need to figure out what we want to do. So in one and half years or so we are moving to the town an hour away. We will still be close to my family but far enough away for me to be able to keep my sanity. I love my family but it's so hard living next door to them. I have mentioned this before, but we are just so different from them. We need to get our cars paid off and by then we will be mostly out of debt.

This is kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. It isn't the reason but more of a sum of everything that happens. Twinkie did something that she shouldn't have. I think it was more parent error than toddler error so she had to sit down and that was that. Then a little while later, I am sitting there with my sister in law, brother, and mom. My sister in law says, "Don't get offended but I think you should've spanked her." Ummm...anytime someone starts a sentence like that, you know you will be offended. I just told her that we had different views about discipline and left like that. However, I was seething. I was kicking myself for not saying anything. When I complained to my mom her reply was that she would've said it if my sister in law didn't.

It is nobody's flucking business how I discipline my children. My sister in law is my friend....a very good friend and of all people knows how it irritates me when my parents criticize me like that. I was so upset and it might be a little childish but I feel betrayed by her. I will remain friends with her but it will take me a long time to trust her again. I know that might sound like an overreaction on my part but you should just take my word for it.

So it's just all the little things that add up to me hating it here. I hate that I am judged by them. I hate that my mom is so negative to me about everything. I hate how everything we do with or buy our children is compared to what everyone else has. The hardest thing is that my parents have young children at home. So even though they are grandparents, they have children not much older than mine and that makes for a very strange dynamic.

Mr. Man and I finally had a long, overdue talk and he is on board with us leaving. He loves it here. But the fact is, he doesn't interact with my family that much so why would it bother him? He doesn't live it day in and day out. Now that I have started telling him all the comments and things that happen with the kids, he believes me. Twinkie will miss her cousins and I am sad about that. I would've loved for them to go to the same school and grow up together. However, we will still see them.

I have to get out for my sanity, however selfish that may be.

Friday, July 25, 2008

My baby turned 1 today.



I know I have been a blogger slacker. I have pretty much been a slacker in my day to day life so I need to get back in the groove.


Tater turned 1 today. I can't believe how time is flying. She is a toddler now, not a baby. Well I guess she is still my baby. She is going to walk any day now and I don't know if I am ready for that. It seems like she just started crawling.


When we found out that I was pregnant with Tater, it was such a huge shock. We had tried for years to get pregnant with Twinkie. I was even on clomid for several months and it didn't work. Then one day I was pregnant. My pregnancy with her was stressful and hard. I had a severe bleeding and they thought I would lose her at 3 months and then I had another episode at 5 months. The birth wasn't great. The dr ended up using a vacuum and I had major tearing. Ouch. I know you are cringing.


Anyway, just after Twinkie turned one, I was pregnant with Tater. It's like I can't get pregnant and then I have them not even 2 years apart. I was working at the time and had plans to be there longterm. Then she came along and everything changed. Honestly, I was shocked at being pregnant but I wasn't that happy. For a few months there, I think I bordered on being depressed. I felt so horrible and guilty about not being totally happy. My sister in law thought I was horrible because how could I not already love her? Well I didn't. I loved Twinkie so unconditionally that I couldn't imagine feeling that way about another baby. At that point, I would've been happy with just one child. Now, I can't imagine my life without her.


I know so many people feel that way. My cousin just went through it when she was pregnant with her second. However, when Tater was born, everything changed. Of course I loved her. Even though people tell you that love multiplies and doesn't divide, it doesn't really make sense until the second one is here. My pregnancy was so easy with her. Even though I was induced with her, the birth was 20 times easier and faster. I pushed for a few minutes where it was a couple of hours with Twinkie. My epidural with Twinkie didn't work but it was great with Tater. How funny it was so different.


Anyway, she turned one today. We are having a party for both girls next week. Tonight, we just ate cupcakes and she opened a present. It was just the four of us.


As I type, Tater is trying her hardest to keep up with her older sister. They should be in bed but they have been playing so well together that I hate to break it up. I love the way that Tater squeals. I love how she has to touch me when she is falling asleep. I love the way she will pop her pacifier out of her mouth and expect to nurse and gets mad if it doesn't happen. She is growing up so fast. She wants to be independant but still needs me.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!


Monday, July 14, 2008

Busy Weekend

My in laws came this weekend. Well they actually came Sunday and are leaving in the morning. Sunday, we met them for dinner. Twinkie had played outside all day and halfway through dinner, she fell asleep sitting up. It was kind of funny. Then today, we went and met them early. We walked around town and ate lunch. Then we went to the park and the girls had a blast. They went swimming with their Grammy and Twinkie floated on her own. I am so proud of her. They took a quick nap and we went shopping and then ate dinner. Visits are usually pretty short so we pack in as much as we can. Twinkie was so sad that they were leaving. She insisted that we move her carseat so she pretty much spent the whole day with them. It was a nice visit. My girls are lucky that they are loved like that.

So, we are eating lunch today. We are about 1/2 way through and Twinkie said that she had to go potty. I take her and she takes FOREVER. She is sitting on the toilet singing and counting. Finally she goes and we go back to the table. She is telling me that she has to finish eating. Well we get to the table and all the plates have been cleared. I was extremely irritated at my husband. Since he was done, he gives such little thought that Twinkie and I spent 1/2 the lunch in the bathroom. Twinkie was upset and kept asking for more food. I was upset because it was absolutely UNthoughtful of my husband. Anyway, I don't know why it annoyed me so much but it did.

We are having a yard sale this weekend. I mostly only have baby things so we'll see. It usually goes pretty well because there are three families. We have one every year. What is funny is that we have the same people stop by every year. I need to make money. Want to know why? hehe

I am driving home the other day when I pass this Mexican restaurant that is selling Pinatas. I stop and buy the biggest Spongebob pinata ever made. It's huge. It like comes up to my shoulders. The girls birthday is in a couple of weeks so I thought I would use it then. However, it's going to be expensive to fill. I haven't decided what to put in it but I could put anything because it's so big. Whenever I get a chance, I will take a picture. It's actually in my parent's garage because I don't even have enough space to store it. How funny.

Monday, July 7, 2008

snapshots





Here are a couple of pictures of my munchkins. Twinkie loves her some cheese in a can.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I'm home.

We are finally home. We all have the stench of campfire, sunscreen and bug spray but you know...The good news is that the camper had no evidence of mice. There were also tons of people there. Twinkie had so much fun. She partied like a rock star. She even got to swim in the lake. That was alot to take with my OCD tendencies but it was fine. Even Tater loved sitting in sand and crawling around. She wasn't a fan of the water but she still had fun.

It was soooo hot though. Seriously in middle of the day, unless you were in the water, you better hope you had air conditioning. Ugh. I am so freaking tired. Both girls have taken baths. I think I am going to take a shower and go to bed. Ohhhh....my own bed. You would've thought I had been gone for weeks instead of just two nights.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Libraries probably hate me.

I am a horrible book checker outer. Is that even a term? Anyway, in the past (aka: before children), I would read all the time. I don't as much now but I still try. I usually buy books but the problem is that I read them so fast that it is always such a waste of money. I try to become money conscious and go to the library.

When I buy a book, I read it and then it's still new looking and I donate them or sale them (except if I love it and I put it on my bookshelf). Anyway, if I check a book out of the library, it's just a disaster. About 6 months ago I checked out a book and I could never find it to return it. I ended up having to pay for it. Wouldn't you know I found it a week later under my car seat. Then last night, my cat knocked over my drink all over the book I am currently reading. So I quickly ordered it off Amazon and I hope they are nice since I am replacing it. One of the children's books I have has teeth marks and I am suspicious that those teeth marks would match up perfect with Tater. I suck with library books.

I still have a book from another library (you know, the porn one) that I can't find even though I really thought I returned it. I am usually an organized person. How is it then that I can't manage to take care of a couple of books that I borrow? My books are perfect, books I borrow....something always happens.


We are going camping in the morning. Woo hoo (enter sarcasm here). So everyone have a great 4th of July!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Camping.

I guess we are going camping over the weekend. I hate camping. I always have. I am not one that can go without showers and I can NEVER pee in the wilderness. I just wasn't cut out for it. However, we now have a camper. I think it's from like the 80's but hey, it's a camper. It's been sitting outside all winter so I was positive there would be mice evidence. If you have read my blog previously, you know there can't be anything worse. I looked today and it seemed okay so we'll see. The last time we went it was last summer and I was like 9 months pregnant. It was not fun at all. Especially when everyone gets drunk and I am sitting there fat and sober. I am still nursing so I guess I will still be the fat and sober one.

The only reason I am going is because everyone is going. I have a huge extended family and they use this as kind of an unofficial reunion. My grandparents have a 'homemade' campground about a mile from a lake. It's pretty nice. There are bathrooms and a playground. I know Twinkie will have tons of fun. So wish me luck that I survive the wilderness (well semi-wilderness).


Potty training is going okay. Twinkie didn't want to put on a diaper for bed tonight so I know she will wet the bed. Oh well. Today, she peed her pants in the car. Being the bad mom that I am, I didn't have any extra clothes. I tried to rinse out her panties and shorts in the bathroom at the restaurant and then dry it with the auto dryer and it kind of worked. I am sure the people that came in loved my 2 year old standing there half naked. Plus, I kept running the dryer and it made it soooo hot in the bathroom.

Then we went to Walmart to buy things for our 'camping' trip. Going camping is expensive after all. We bought marshmallows but we already opened them and me and the girls ate some. I should've bought an extra bag. When will I learn? How can you resist a huge marshmallow? Okay, I admit that I opened the bag before we even pulled out the parking lot. If you would have seen the way that Twinkie said marshmallow, you would've caved too. She said it right, it was just the way she moved her mouth that was funny.

We were watching Dora this afternoon and it was an episode about Dora and Boots celebrating Best Friends Day. Twinkie came and hugged me and told me "Happy Best Friends Day Mom." Then she told me I was her best friend.

It just doesn't get any better than that.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Swingtown.

I just had to say that I love that show. I had the episodes recorded and finally watched them. I always thought I wanted to live in the 50's. Now I want to go back to the 70's. Not to be swingers....well probably not :). But everything was just so cool. Have you ever seen that movie Dazed and Confused? Now they were cool. Seriously.

Check it out. I would actually like one show that I enjoy to stick around. You know in US magazine (or mazagine as Twinkie would say), they gave Army Wives a bad review. I hate that because I really like that show too.

Oh while I am on the subject of TV, I also watched Baby Borrowers last night. I thought it was kind of funny. I couldn't imagine letting some teens watch my baby. I know the parents get to watch them from another location and intervene if they need to, but how sad when the babies would just cry and cry. I would want to go and pick her up. Then I thought it was funny how one girl threw a fit because she didn't want to wear the maternity tummy. Another girl was all offended that the baby's mom came and talked to her. Very mature.

I also watched the Wipeout show. You can tell what I do when everyone goes to bed? Blog and watch TV. Anyway, I laughed because it's always funny when people are getting hurt.

Potty training cont.

Potty training continues. I was lazy for a few days and so it was diapers. Today, Twinkie had no accidents. Very cool. She even wanted to wear her panties to bed but we are not even close to that. She is excited to use the potty. It is actually so cute because she just beams everytime she goes. I guess it really is true that they are ready when they are ready.

Previously, my mom said that I would probably have to spank her. Ummm...yeah, that would've worked. Twinkie just wants to go to school and she knows that she has to be potty trained to do it. She has another two months so we are doing good.

Today we did absolutely nothing. We seriously played in the floor most of the day. I would show you a picture of my living room but it's just embarrassing. I am trying to ignore the mess right now. The good news is I have most of the playroom put together. The bad news is half of my livingroom is full of things that came out of there. We are thinking of having a yard sale. I just can't decide what to do with the baby stuff. Keep it....sell it? Hmmmm...

I feel a little better today. Maybe I can blame it on PMS. Which I have to tell you, I always heard that when you had children, things because better in that area. THEY WERE LYING. I am still not talking to my sister in law. I will continue being childish. She probably doesn't even notice. haha

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

In a lighter note....



Seriously, they are so darn cute. I just had to share.

I am boring.

I haven't posted because I am not sure that I have anything interesting to say. My life has been pretty boring. I have been grumpy this week and I don't know why. Tonight, I let my sister in law offend me so now I am being childish and I am not talking to her. How mature of me to know that I am being childish right? The girls and I went to my nephews baseball game. I asked her if I could sit where her carseat was so that I could park Tater next to me. She asked me where she was supposed to put him (my nephew in his carseat). I just told her that it probably didn't matter since it wasn't like he was watching the game.

Then her 3 year old told me that he was going to pour gatorade on me. I told him that wasn't nice. He sat next to me and she had him move. I told her he could sit by me and she said that he couldn't because I had a bad attitude. Seriously. Whatever. I told her that I apologized for invading her space and took my children and moved to different bleachers.

She can be a bitch for weeks and we are all supposed to live with it. I am grumpy and she won't let her kid sit next to me. WHATEVER. I am so irritated with her. I mean it's more than that but nothing I really want to go into. Another story for another time.


I did go to the meeting about the sex offender. He lives behind us about a mile back. We live in the country is it's only like four houses away. I don't know, the meeting was kind of vague. I guess he lives next door to his brother who is also a registered sex offender. Doesn't that make you wonder how their childhood was. I mean is that common to have two sex offenders in the same family? I have seen if before but the times I have seen it, it was a dad and his son.

There was a post on the message board about CPS visiting a family. I didn't read all of it because it was so long. However, I miss that life. I am not sure I miss the job. I mean it's a hard job for not alot of money. I guess I just miss doing something that was...I don't know. Important maybe. Not that being a mom isn't....it's just different.

I know my feelings would be different now. I may have mentioned this in the past but when I worked as an investigator, I didn't have children. I think my mindset has shifted. I feel differently about things. Maybe more strict on some things and less on others. I don't know if that makes sense. I was always pretty liberal anyway with things like dirty houses and stuff like that. I just had no patience for women that wouldn't protect their children and I feel even stronger about that now.

It's strange to think of all the children I have removed from their homes. I know quite a few of them never went back. I know happy endings and not so happy endings. Sometimes I wish I still worked there just because when I did, I could keep up with them. Now, I just don't know.

One of the last cases I had was horrible and it was one of the main reasons I moved to Foster Care/Adoptions. I had the case off and on for over a year. I knew the children, they knew me. I had been to the home over and over. Finally it was too much. The children were removed. Then it was a complete shift with the family. I remember once I was in my office and the two girls were visiting their mom (ages 10 and 11). They were outside my window and all of a sudden one of the girls is pounding on it and calling me names. She came in the building running through the halls shouting for 'that bitch' which was me. She had to be physically restrained.

At court, the mom threatened me and I had to be escorted from the building my security. Another time, she was in the parking lot and an officer had to escort me again. I had to stay in my office if any of the family was in the building. I realized I couldn't do that anymore. It wasn't worth it. I am sad for the situation even now and it's been three years. Last I heard, the children were being freed for adoption. What a sad situation.

I was in a city too and that makes alot of difference. There, we would get a few cases a day. Here, it's like a few a week. We think about moving back sometimes. I would like too. I could be a supervisor. Then I think what it's like for Twinkie growing up near family and she loves them so much. I just don't know. I don't want to live here, but I don't want to move. I just know how much I loved being raised with my cousins and my huge family. I want that for my children too I just don't know how not to be selfish about it and want something else.

I am so unhappy right now I don't even know how to change it. I don't know what will make me happy. Moving? Working? Counseling? Drugs?

Any answers??

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Potty training.

We are doing it today and it's not going so horrible. Usually by now she would have tons of accidents. She doesn't want to sit on the training seat though, just the normal toilet. We'll see. I am hopeful. My advice for parents though. Potty train before you have a baby. I think it makes a little harder when you have to stop places or go potty 500 times lugging a baby around. Maybe I am just lazy.

I am going to a meeting tonight. I guess a Violent Sexual Offender is moving in our neighborhood. We live in a pretty rural area and the notice was rather vague about the area so we'll see. He could be in the next town. But the meeting is just down the road so it makes me think it's closer to us. I barely want to live here. Seriously, it's a tiny town. Why would you move here being public enemy #1? It's very odd. Everyone knows everyone. If you want to blend in, wouldn't you live in a city? When we lived in a city, I would go weeks/months without seeing anyone I knew in public. Here, NEVER. I grew up here and I remember I would walk down the road and my dad would get a few calls before I even made it home wondering what I was doing.

He's probably moving in with his girlfriend and her four kids. I made them up but I am sure they exist. When I worked for CPS, I can't tell you how many times I saw this.

~It was different, he wouldn't do that to my kids.
~But I love him.
~My daughter is lying...she wants attention...her grandparents put her up to it.
~She is jealous.

It was so sad. I don't mean to go on and on but I remember once this little girl (around 10) telling me how sad she was that her mom didn't believe her. She later tried to take back her story because her mom was upset at her for messing up her relationship. Did you know that when children recant, they are probably telling the truth? I don't know the stats but I have heard that several times. I can't tell you how many interviews I watched with little kids. It was always the boyfriend. Seriously. Then when babies were hurt, it was always that damn couch.

Why I am even talking about this? Ugh. I will update you on the meeting. My old state was so different than this one so it will be interesting to say the least.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Our Anniversary.

Today is our anniversary. Woo hoo for us. We went out to dinner and it was okay. We had never been there before. We are usually pretty basic. I mean we have two children so it's not like we get out a lot. When we do eat out, I try to pick the most kid friendly places as I can. So this place was opposite that. You know where the food looks like art. I had roasted chicken. It was good. The potatoes were strange....maybe too lemony. I don't know. Mr. Man had two different beef things. The best part was dessert where I had what was officially called "Hazelnut Banana Torte." It was really like a piece of banana bread with ice cream on it. I felt like I was on an episode of 'Top Chef' that I love. I actually recognized things on the menu because of the show. See, I learned something from television.

Tater missed me. When we picked her up from my sister in laws house, she lunged toward me. Then she tried to pull down my shirt. So it wasn't me she missed but my boobs. Poor baby.

We have lost control of bedtime in our house. I don't even know how to get it back. I think it's a summer thing because I remember it being like this last year. A couple times a week we watch my nephews play baseball and we get home late those nights. Then the times we have to go and pick up Mr. Man from work. It just throws are schedule off so then the girls are wound up and it always takes them forever to go to sleep. Then Twinkie usually ends up in our bed before morning. I never even hear her come in. I will just wake up and there she is sleeping. I don't care that she is there but I feel like I should. I don't know if that makes sense or not but I figure she won't be sleeping with us when she is in high school. However, Tater might.

My grandma's birthday (part 2)

I meant to add this before but my great-grandma just celebrated her 90th birthday. Isn't that crazy? I never realized that she was getting so old. She looks old too and it makes me sad. For the last few years she has not been in the best of health. She's had diabetes for awhile, then last year had some heart problems. Plus, she is extremely heavy so now she is in a wheelchair and needs help doing things. It makes me sad even to write about it because I know we don't have much longer with her.

My parents were young when they had me. My mom turned 18 like two weeks before I was born. I spent almost everyday at my great-grandma's house. She would watch children all day. I remember once there were twins there named Mandy and Candy. That always cracked me up.

Anyway, usually there were my cousins coming in and out of her house. We would spend the day playing. We ran around the front yard and played capture the flag. We climbed her apple tree and ate those horrible crab apples. We walked to Blake's and paid 25 cents for flavored ice. We had kool-aid stands on the corner of her road. If I had to actually say it, times at her house with my cousins were the best times of my childhood. We would stay the night with her every New Year's Eve while all of our parents went out. Then at midnight, we would hit pots and pans together until a neighbor got mad at us.

It's funny because she still lives in the same house but things are so much different. For one, her yard was so big to me when I was little and even though it's the same size now, it seems so much smaller. The apple tree I fell out of when I was about 8, I can now reach the branches. She had a dip in her yard that we would all sit in and talk. That dip now could probably only fit one adult.

Times have changed too. The corner we had kool-aid stands on is now one of the busiest roads in the town. I would NEVER let my child make that walk to Blake's. Well I guess now none of us would even send our children to the front yard to play. We would all be safety enclosed in our backyards.

I guess at that time my great-grandma was already in mid/late 60's when she was taking care of me. I don't really remember my great-grandma during that time, just the fun I had. She used to give us stockings every Christmas until there got to be too many of us. I can't imagine how many grandkids she has now. She had seven children so you do the math. I do know that she has 9 great-great grandchildren. When I was born, we had 5 generations. When my nephew was born, it was five again. Pretty cool.

There are things I should find about about my family. You know that my grandma (from the same side of the family) had my dad when she was 15. I can't imagine being pregnant that young in the 50's. I have never talked to her about how it was. I need to because I have always been curious. I have also always joked how I would be the perfect 50's wife. Then I wouldn't have so much conflict about working/not working.

But folks, that is a whole other blog entry.

Monday, June 16, 2008

My grandma's birthday.

Well actually it is my great-grandmother. We went to her birthday party on Saturday. It was kind of annoying because I only heard a rumor about a party on Thursday so I called my grandma to confirm. She said that invitations barely were sent out. Usually things in my family are potluck but nobody knew if this was the case. Then it said to RSVP but didn't have anyone to RSVP to. Anyway, so we went.

Of course they ran out of food. Well they had hot dogs. But if you see my previous post, maybe it's better than we didn't really get the chance to eat. That's like last weekend we went to my cousin's son's birthday. She ran out of party bags. So Twinkie didn't get one and was all upset. Hello? Shouldn't you have enough for the children that you invite. We RSVP'd. It's not like we need a party bag but when all the other children have one and she doesn't, it's not pleasant.

I guess I am a planner. I do not understand how I come from a family that are NOT planners. I am usually on time to things and I come from a family that are always late. Even Saturday, the party started at 11:30 a.m. and I tried to get there late because I should know how it is. I didn't there until almost noon and there were like 2 people there. Ugh.

My mom is classic. My sister's birthday is on Thursday (she will be 11). I keep asking her what she is doing but they have no clue. She complains that nobody will be there but seriously...what do you expect when you don't plan? I am already planning the girls birthday and I still have two months. But you know what?? People come to my things. That pisses my mom off too. She really expects us to keep weekends open when it's time for her kid's birthdays. We have missed so many because she just doesn't plan. A little effort, that is all.

I was going to rent a bouncy house for Twinkie and Tater's birthday (we are having them together). I got a huge eye roll about that one. Whatever.

Sick.

Two nights ago, Twinkie woke up about 1:30 a.m just screaming. Mr. Man went to check on her and I heard her tell him that she spit in her bed (aka vomit). So we got her up, cleaned everything, dressed her in new pj's and laid her down in our bed. I guess since it was middle of the night, we weren't prepared because she threw up on our bed. So we stripped our bed and put on new sheets, changed her pj's and cleaned her up again.

Finally, I put her in her clean bed and she is half asleep. About 30 minutes later, repeat above. Finally, she is in clean jammies and laying on the recliner with a towel under her. I finally got smart and had a trash can ready. She didn't really get the concept but it helped. I slept next to her for most of the night and then Mr. Man took the early morning shift. She was kind of sluggish most of Father's Day but she wanted nachos that night so I figure she is okay.

It was just so sad when she said that she spit in her bed, our bed, on the chair and her bed again.

Okay, so then I am sick. I woke up that morning kind of down but by 9:00 a.m. I was also 'spitting' and feeling horrible. Needless to say, Mr. Man had a crappy Father's Day. He took care of Tater most of the day while me and Twinkie slept and watched T.V. I feel better today but my stomach is still kind of tender.

I bet we ate something. Who knows. I know we both had some guacamole at a party. How can you mess up guacamole? So I think my aunt was trying to kill us.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Fuzzy supermodel and cranky monkey.



uh huh

Don't you love when conversations start out like "I am not trying to tell you how to parent, but you are going to have to spank her." Just a quote from my mom.

Moving on....

We went to a birthday party this last weekend for my cousin's 2 year old. It was during his naptime so that was fun. He pretty much didn't want to do anything and kept crying and stomping around. Why would you have a party during naptime? Then my cousin married a 'perfect' family. I know you know the kind I am talking about. I feel kind of bad for her because there is a lot of pressure on her to be like them. One of them had a daughter named 'Bentley'. Enough said.

Today, Mr. Man was off work. We went to Target. It's like an hour away so it was the highlight of my month. Of course, I spend too much money everytime I go there. I bought the girls some cute shirts, a few toys, and a book for me. Mostly I was looking for a shelf but didn't find anything I liked. Shocking I know. I do have a list for what I want next time I go.

Tomorrow I am staying home and cleaning my mess of a house. I told Mr. Man if CPS came over they would probably take our kids away. I know, I used to work there. Well, maybe it's not CPS bad but it could go there unless I get control of the mess.

OKAY.....DISCLAIMER. FOLLOWING STORY IS THE WORST HOUSE I EVER SAW WHILE WORKING FOR CPS.

So myself and another worker went to this home. I think it was a trailer if I remember right. The report was that the children were sleeping outside and the house was a mess. Well, when the woman opened the door, the smell just overwhelmed you. I thought I was going to be sick. I had even put Vicks under my nose (smelly house trick). The floor was just matted carpet (pee and feces everywhere). In the kitchen, there was a hole in the floor that showed the ground. The fridge was completely black on the inside.

There was just a couch and bed. Well and this huge cat castle. I can't remember how many animals she had but it was quite a few. She said that the kids liked sleeping outside (even though they admitted to doing it to get away from the smell). Now this part is horrible....so she is taking us through the home and she shows us the bathroom and just flips the light on and off real quick. My coworker asked her to turn it on again and the whole bathroom was a huge litter box. Seriously, there was just a thick layer of kitty litter on the floor and that is where the cats went. Ewwwww.....

The funniest part is when we got there, she was just sitting on her couch reading a romance novel. Those kids weren't removed. So I guess my house does have a ways to go for that to happen.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Long day.

We had Mr. Man's company picnic today. It was fun. I usually only like the giveaways even though I never win. We always win a stupid kid toy. Same thing this year. It's one of those game things you hook to the T.V. I was hoping for at least a toy that I could regift. Oh well. I wanted to win the iPod or the outdoor fire pit. That would have been nice.

They had a bouncy house and I think Twinkie jumped for 3 hours straight. She loves those things. I am one of those moms that lets her on even though the older kids want to go crazy. Then they have to slow down because she is so little. The funny part of the day is that she pretended to be lost even though I could see her. The first time she was talking to a girl about 12 or 13. I didn't think anything of it and then the girl picked her up. I got to her just as a man was asking her what her mommy's name was and Twinkie looking all sad. The second time I was like 10 feet away. Maybe she just has that look of a abandoned child about her. She milks it too. She also had like 5 sno-cones and some cotton candy. No wonder she had so much energy to bounce that much. She never wanted to leave. I had to bribe her with renting one for her birthday. Is that too much? Hmmm....

Jackass and his family wasn't there. That was a good thing. Even though there were tons of people there, I just didn't want them to show up. Skankho wasn't there either. Hmmm...last I heard, Jackass's family was out of town so it wouldn't surprise me if he and Skankho decided to take advantage of that.

And for the last thing of the evening, Twinkie put together a puzzle. Now, Mr. Man thinks she is a genius. I am thinking I should go to bed. Today was long with the heat and being out all day. Plus, this morning I did tons of hula hooping on the Wii fit. I am too lazy to do anything else. Mr. Man is asleep on the couch. Which kind of makes me wonder why I am still watching the stupid NBA finals. Especially since I know Army Wives is on. I love that show.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Back from the in-laws

We just got back from visiting my in-laws. They are about 500 miles away. It was a nice trip. I kind of wish we could've stayed another day or two. Shocking huh? It's kind of nice to have someone that wants to watch your kid. I think one day I even slept until like 8:00 a.m. My girls love their grammy and she adores them. Twinkie didn't want to leave. We usually see them every couple of months.

Mr. Man and I have flirted with the idea of moving there. It's a nice town. Much bigger than where we are now with a lower cost of living. For example, if we bought here it would be like $100,000 more here than in their town. I am totally serious about that too. It's crazy. We'll see.

I would feel bad about leaving my family but I am not sure it would be that big of deal. I don't know. I am tired, it was a long trip. Goodnight.

Friday, May 30, 2008

I dislike him so much

Well Jackass is up to it again. If you have read my previous entries, you know that Jackass is the loving name given to Mr. Man's coworker. You know, the one that pretends he isn't married. I call his 'girlfriend' Skankho.

Well they all work in a commission based job. There is an hourly wage but it's not much. Mr. Man and Jackass have always been the top earners. Basically since they started there three years ago. Needless to say, this month, Skankho is ahead of Mr. Man. How you ask? Hmmm....
It's interesting because she has always been at the bottom (so to speak). There is a scorecard so you pretty much know where everyone ranks that month.

Jackass has been helping Skankho. When he rings things up, he puts in her number so she gets credit for it. Then yesterday, he skipped customers so that she would get the one that needed the most help (instead of Mr. Man getting them). I mean Mr. Man could complain because skipping customers is a bad bad thing but you know what a smooth talker Jackass is so it would never work. Basically, he is taking money away from his family because of the commission he is sending her way.

I dislike him so much I can't stand it. He also told Mr. Man that his wife went out of town with their children and then made some comment about how she could be gone for a week or two or that maybe she wouldn't come back. Of course, Mr. Man never follows up with any questions so who knows how things really are in fairytale land.

Their company picnic is next week. I am kind of relieved that their family won't be there. I don't even want to go but Twinkie has so much fun. It's mostly family and child based so I doubt Skankho would even be there.

On a side note, I finally have my Wii Fit and I love it. My mii is fat though and keeps looking at herself with a look that says "What the hell happened here?" I won't even tell you my fit age but it's not good. Mr. Man's was worse. He is very offended that his mii is pretty chubby. It was actually kind of funny how he had to point out several times that it didn't even look like him. Uh-huh.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dentists suck.

I have always hated going to the dentist. Nothing good comes from it. Believe me, I do not come from good teeth genes. I had to have two teeth pulled yesterday. Personally, I think if your wisdom teeth aren't bothering anyone you should just leave them alone. Mine, however, couldn't be nice so now they are gone. Yep, I am loopy from the pain.

Even finding a babysitter for my kiddos is an ordeal. That's mostly why I never get things done from myself....you know, haircuts, doctor....I had my 13 year old sister come over to watch them. What I didn't know is that my mom wasn't going to be home (next door). So she couldn't handle them (I think they were interrupting her iPod time) and took them to my sister in laws house (two houses down). We actually live in the country so it's hard to describe our houses. We are in walking distance of each other though. I have only left Tater a few times so I know it wouldn't be easy. I would've asked my sister in law to begin with but she always makes me feel....I can't think of a word but I hate asking her. And I NEVER ask my mom. It would have to be a very bad emergency for me to ask her. However, I watch their children. How sad am I?

I want to move. We debate it on a monthly basis. I think Twinkie would miss living near everyone. She loves it here. How could you not love having built in playmates? But too much family is not a good thing.

On a sidenote, I was supposed to get my Wii Fit yesterday and it didn't come. I have all of Twinkie's toys piled in the livingroom so I guess even if I had it I couldn't hook it up.

Can I just go back to bed?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

It just gets better.

Before we took our car in to be fixed, Mr. Man and I cleaned it out as best as we could. I don't know if anyone is as messy and me and my children. I hadn't cleaned it for a few weeks so there was quite the mixture of things. I had toys, crayons, tossed sippy cups, snacks. Well you get the whole messy picture.

I don't know what happened but nothing that was in the car made it to the house. The conclusion is that Mr. Man threw the sack away. Why you ask? I have no freaking clue. Who knows what really was even in it. I know Twinkie had a pair of shoes....Tater had a jacket. And like I said, some random kid things. This is the kicker though. I had my iPod in there. Yep, you saw that right. I had put my iPod in the bag to be brought into the house. My fucking iPod touch is now in the landfill somewhere. If anyone knows me, they know I am addicted to the thing. I listen to it all the time. I LOVE IT. Now it's gone. I don't mean to be dramatic but I used money I got for Christmas for it and I just can't spend $400 on an iPod right now. I am so sad.

Mr. Man has a history of throwing things away so I shouldn't be surprised. He threw away concert tickets once. He threw away a check one time. I could probably go on and on. I don't even want to think about what else might have been in that sack. I am pretty sure there was a savings bond that came in the mail that I just stuck between the seats.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

When it rains, it pours.

Twinkie and I are just having a constant battle of wills. Yesterday we were at my sister in law's house and she was playing with her 'best friend' N. Well he pushed her. Granted he shouldn't have done that, but she called him stupid. I told her to say that she was sorry and for them to get along. This is how it went:

Me: Twinkie, tell N that you are sorry for calling him stupid.
Her: No.
Me: Tell him you are sorry.
Her: No.
Me: If you don't tell him you are sorry, we have to go home.
Her: No.
Me: Okay Twinkie, let's go.
Her: No

Well you get the idea. We just live next door so it's not like we had to go far. Man, she just wouldn't say she was sorry. So then we get home and we were talking about it. She said that she wouldn't call him stupid again but that he pushed her. She still refused to apologize. I was okay with that. But then today, she called him stupid again. I can tell that talk worked.

I have a horrible toothache. I finally went to the dentist and I have to have two wisdom teeth pulled next week. Yuck. You know how hard it is to try and schedule dentist appointments when you have two little ones with nobody to watch them? The dentist is lecturing me about taking so long to come in and I just kept thinking "Yeah, are you going to babysit for me?"

We had to take our car in to be fixed. I think the whole engine might need overhauled. If we didn't owe so much on it, I would just run it off a cliff. Well since it doesn't run, I would have to push it....but it would feel so good. I cringe when I think about how much money it's going to cost.

My dad went in for a colonoscopy today. I learned that when he's medicated, he's pretty much an ass. But anyway....they found several polyps and I guess the more there are and bigger they are, chances go up that their cancerous. I need to stop reading things on the Internet. I pray that everything is okay.

Then today, the wind was blowing like crazy. You know I mentioned earlier that we bought Twinkie a swingset. Well the wind blew it over. It was a nice wood one too. Mr. Man acts like it's my fault because I should have known that would happen. He wanted a different one but they didn't have any in stock. I actually wanted a more expensive one but he didn't want to spend the money since both kiddos are so young. Why can't we just blame the wind? So it's hard to tell if we can even fix it. I felt bad for Twinkie because she started crying and wanted 'Kuncle' to come over and fix it. She isn't even three yet but she knows that my brother is the one that fixes things for us. That's funny.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Tough days.

The last few days have been kind of rough. Twinkie has been...what is the correct word? AN ABSOLUTE BRAT. It kind of all started on Friday. First thing in the morning, I let our dogs out (you know, since they were both standing at the door). She threw a fit that I didn't let her do it. I didn't even think about it when I did it. She ended up in her room crying for awhile and screaming for her daddy....you know, the nice parent.


The day went downhill from there. She was pretty much like that all day. This weekend has not been any better. Yesterday, she was playing outside with my nephew "N". Well N had to go home and she threw a tantrum because I made her go in the house. You know, gulping and crying. She could barely calm herself down. Today, I had to go in the gas station to pay for gas and she wanted to go in with me. I wouldn't give her the sucker she wanted right away and so she just fell to the ground when we were walking back to the car. My hands were full so I ended up carrying her by one arm and she just stayed limp.


I seriously do not even know what to do with her. I hate to call it a stage but I seriously hope that's what it is. She just has so many feelings. And believe me, I am hurting them all the time. I want my nice two year old back. Is that even possible? I am drained by her lately.

My dog and my innocent looking daughter.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Stupid library.

If you have read my previous posts, I had a problem with some guy watching porn on the computer in our library during the children's reading time. The library director said that they would make it a priority to put privacy screens on their monitors. It hasn't happened yet. My sister in a law are now going to a different library. It's the library in the next town over. They actually have better books.

Our old library was always kind of strange. Earlier this year, I donated a few hundred books and only a couple made it to the shelves. The rest went to the for sale bin. That kind of pissed me off because I buy bestseller/new books and read them within a day or two so they are always in great condition. It's like they weren't good enough. One book I bought like the week before (it had just come out) and read it. They even put that in the for sale bin. Doesn't make sense.

Plus, the other day we were at the library (sister in law and I) and our two toddlers were in the children's part. They were loud but not being horrible. I went to tell them to talk a little more quiet and as we were talking to them explaining how they had to be quiet in the library, one of the workers came by to lecture them about using their library voices. Ummm...HELLO? Their moms are standing right there telling them to quiet down. I always find that extremely rude. Of course, I always wish I would say something like 'I have it under control' or 'back off bitch.'

That reminds of what happened all Walmart yesterday. I hate Walmart. Maybe tomorrow I can tell all my horrible Walmart stories. Unfortunately, it's pretty much all we have. Target is like an hour away so I save it for special occasions. Anyway, I am checking out at Walmart and I pushed my cart up to put groceries in. Tater is trying to grab the sacks on the turnstyle thing. The lady actually told her to watch her hands. Kind of in a rude voice too. I told her that she was only 9 months old and I didn't think that she understood that. When tater was a baby, she was crying and I was almost done. I was trying to sooth her without picking her up so that I could get checked out. Finally I was done loading groceries and picked her up. The lady behind me told me it was a good thing because she was about to come get her since I just let her cry. Ummm...yeah. Go for it. Then I can explain to the police why you are missing an arm.

Okay, that all sounds kind of jumbled. The moral of the story is, I don't need comments about or to my children. It's rude and you aren't their mother. If you judge, do it quietly....like me. haha.

I need to get to bed. Night, night.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My chunky monkey.



Tater is just so darn cute I had to share a couple of pics.

I hate mice!

Country living isn't all it's cracked up to be. When we moved into our house, it had been vacant for years. Well, except for you know....the creatures. Yuck. I am so used to living in the city where I don't think I ever saw a mouse, or thought we had one. Here, we get them pretty regularly. Enough that I leave a trap in a certain drawer pretty much all the time.

Well killer cat Sasha loves mice. She has caught several. As much as that is a good thing, I could do without her leaving body parts around for me to clean up. Did I mention that I hate mice? My 10 year old sister actually had to come over to pick up random parts. My mom had to come over and pick up a dead mouse when Sasha decided that she wasn't hungry.

Yesterday, I woke up early and I was in the kitchen. I heard that horrible squealing of a mouse being tortured. Sure enough, Sasha was flipping it in the air. Then the mouse disappeared. Seriously, why does she just play with them, scare them half to death, hurt them, and then oops, let them get away.. So now I know I am going to pick up something or move something and find it.

I HATE MICE!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

I am not a huge fan of what I percieve as 'made up holidays.' However, it doesn't stop me from taking some advantage of it. I was actually going to go to the movies by myself today. I was so excited. Unfortunately I fell asleep next to Tater and missed the movies. Oh well, at least I got a nap and didn't have to worry about Twinkie being unsupervised.

We just put in a swingset and a playhouse. Twinkie is in little girl heaven. She wants to play outside constantly. Tonight, she barely made it through her bath before her eyes started closing. I had to put 3 bandaides on her 'boo-boo's (blisters). We do have to go get another lock for our front door though. I have caught her trying to sneak out of the house. Plus she keeps letting our stupid cat out. Then she looks at me all innocent and says that Sasha wanted to go outside. I have told her over and over that Sasha has to stay in the house. She will also put her outside because Sasha hurt her. That is on an hourly basis. I would probably hurt her too if I was that cat.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Wow. Twinkie was a mess today. We went to the library. She didn't want to leave so I had to half drag her to the car. Only after she started running off in parking lot. Then she complained for the rest of the day that I hurt her arm. Then she said how much I hurt her feelings and made her sad. That actually made me laugh since it was kind of cute. We get home and she wanted her drink. I guess I wasn't fast enough because she started screaming. Off to her room for a good half hour screamfest. I guess I could excuse it and say that she was tired but I think she was just being a brat.

Then we left to pick up Mr. Man and she dumped her drink....on purpose....all over the floorboard. When will I learn? So she came home, ate dinner, and went to bed. My head is throbbing and I am already looking forward to tomorrow.

On the bright side, Tater learned how to 'roll em up, roll em up' on the patty cake song. I wish I could even describe her doing it. The cutest thing ever.

The Duggars

Yep, I know you know who I am talking about. I can't believe she is already pregnant again. Well, I guess I can. More so, I can't believe that I am actually writing about it. This is number 18. She has been pregnant for 11 years. Can you imagine? I wonder if she has pretty easy pregnancies because I only have two kids but both pregnancies were pretty miserable. Tater is the same age as her youngest. I would be sad to be pregnant right now since she is still just a baby.

I know it's really anyone's business how many children they have. However, they have opened themselves up to criticism (or praise) by being on T.V.

The main issue I have with this family is no matter what anyone's says, you cannot care for that many children each day. Some one is getting short changed. I hear people say how good she is delegating and managing her home. Well of course she is. The older children are responsible for the younger children. Her 9 month old will be passed off in 7 months to a 'buddy' and a new baby will take her place. Her children have to sign up to talk to her. I wonder if one of her teenage daughers wants to talk to her about some kind of girl thing, does she have to sign up and wait three days? I just don't know how that works.

For the positive, they seem happy.

What do I know? I have two kids and can barely handle that.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Moms Groups Suck

You know how hard it is to find a good group? I remember when Twinkie was a baby, I tried to join a baby group. It was okay but we basically all sat around in a circle and breastfed. Then the family activities were hiking and biking. The hell with that.

I next joined when she was crawling. Kind of the same thing. One time a mom told me that she stayed with this group rather than the older kid group because moms there would feed their kids skittles and she was still breastfeeding. I think her son was three or so. All I could think when she was telling me that is 'Where do I find that group?' I am totally a skittle feeding kind of mom.

I know go to MOPS. It's good but sometimes it's just irritating. Like today we had a mommy exchange where everything brought some things in to exchange. Well several times during the meeting, we were told we would go and look through the things at the end. By the time the end came, three women had pretty much cleaned everything out. Very rude. They came out with huge piles of stuff. I didn't really need anything but that is hardly the point. Plus I took in nice things (or so I thought) and all that was there were like clothes that had been through 10 kids.

Oh well. I will probably continue to go but how hard is it to find a mom like me? Even at the park, moms are feeding their kids all this healthy stuff and they are drinking organic juice. Twinkie is eating a peanut butter sandwich and drinking a CapriSun. Today at MOPS I gave Tater some chocolate cake. I am sure I could hear the gasps around me. On the upside, we learned how to host a party today. I sure that will come in handy. Really.

F-word

I guess I need to stop saying it. Twinkie has already said it twice on her own. Of course she will copy things we say but when they start saying them on their own then I guess it's an issue. I was cleaning out the tub and I put the bath seat up on the ledge. I was leaning over and it fell. I stopped myself from saying anything. Twinkie didn't. She said 'fuck' and just started playing again. She has also called our dog 'damn dog.'

Another thing she does is calls everything stupid. I never realized how often I say that. We were putting change into a jar the other day and she would pick up a quarter and say 'stupid quarter' and then a dime and say 'stupid dime.' It was funny. I have heard her call many things stupid. Her toy, her shirt, her bed....it's endless.

Monday, May 5, 2008

When I grow up....

I am trying to decide if I want to go back to school. I kind of have a plan but who knows. I have my Bachelor and Master's Degree in Social Work. When I graduated with my BSW I started working for Child Protective Services. I was there 6 years (up until Twinkie was born) and then we moved here. I worked last year at the High School here as a counselor and I loved it. So I decided to go to school to become a school counselor instead of the more specialized one I was. I took two internet classes and stopped when I became pregnant. I guess I realized at that point I would probably end up staying home again.

I can't go back to CPS. I mean I am a slacker mom but I just can't deal with loser parents anymore. I always saw myself working in a hospital as a social worker. However, when I did my internship (2 years) in the hospital we were in a large city. That is what I loved...the chaos, the emergency type aspect of it. Now we live in such a rural area it's not the same.

When I was working at the hospital, I thought I would like to be a nurse. To end a llloooonnnnggg story, I want to apply to the nursing program here. I have a couple classes I would have to take so I probably would only take one class a semester and apply for the program next year. It takes 18 months. By then Tater will be in preschool. So that is the plan. We'll see.

I can't believe that I am 31 years old and still don't know what I want to do with my life. Of course, I could see myself staying home with my children. I could also see me having a career I enjoy and only have to work part-time but still make okay money. We all know social workers make crap. Not that it's about the money....but that does help.

Okay, thanks for reading my huge life dilemma about what I want to be when I grow up (well other than a professional student).

Friday, May 2, 2008

Not so boring now.

Mr. Man volunteered (through my prodding) to give the girls a bath. How nice of him! I was in the livingroom and he's in the bathroom digging for something. He is talking to me asking where something is when he shouts and reaches into the tub and brings out my 9 month old who had tipped over in her chair and was underwater.

Poor baby is coughing and gagging. Then he yells at the Twinkie because I am sure she is to blame. Not the dad who should know he has to be right there....who I have told over and over that the bath chair can tip over. So by then I am in tears holding Tater and I just close the bathroom door on him.

I don't even know what to do at this point. I know things like this happen to everyone. Hell, I am by far a perfect parent. It just seems like everything is so....magnified. Does that make sense?

Boring Day.

Mr. Man was off work today. I can't tell you how excited I was about that (obvious sarcasm). It was okay I guess. We went and bought Twinkie a swingset. I can make a bet now how long it stays in boxes on our porch. I don't think my husband is the handiest and I just don't have anyone left to bribe to put it together. Poor Twinkie.

I ran to the store earlier. I literally was gone less than half and hour. I get home and Twinkie has something all over her. In her hair, on her face, all over her clothes. It had a nice and fruity smell to it. I wiped off as much as I could. I was hoping we could skip bath night but not now. So then I am in the bathroom and realize that it's handsoap. Seriously, I was gone for freaking 30 minutes. How is she able to do that? It's not like we have a big house...plus where Mr. Man was sitting, he is looking right into the bathroom.

I have an answer for you. MARIO KART. Damn Wii.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Oh crap.

My mom is messing around with my camera trying to find a way to change the picture settings. She is just pushing random buttons and *POW* she erased every single one of my pictures. Damn her. I had over 500 pictures. Granted I do download to my computer but it's been a few months. I seriously cried on the way home. I love taking pictures and now some are gone. I barely moved to a digital camera and now I wonder why. I guess I could've easily have lost a couple of rolls of film. I know she feels bad but....

So the things that are erased:
~Tater's first food

~Easter pics
~Tater's first tooth
~Visit with the inlaws
~Twinkie swimming

Ugh. Plus all the random shots I take. How irritating. Then she tried to blame me by saying I shouldn't have so many pictures on there. Ummm...hello??

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What a day....

Tater is sick. She has a horrible fever and is grouchy as hell. I have not been able to get more than a couple inches away from her. I hate it when they are sick. Then Twinkie watched Lion King for the fiftyith time this week. It's turned into quite the babysitter.

Tater's illness started out with her puking all over my bed. Yep, she still sleeps with me but that is a whole other story. So I cleaned that up the best I could. That next morning (yesterday), Mr. Man took her to change her diaper so I could get a quick shower. He screamed like a girl. Seriously. I went in her room and he had poop all over him and her. I had to wipe it out of her hair. Ugh. I had to give her a bath and barely got a shower. I went to lay her down later for her nap and Mr. Man hadn't mentioned that poop was all over the bed too. *sigh*

Today was slightly better. We went to the park. Tater fell asleep and Twinkie played for awhile. There was a mom there with her maybe four year old. The mom parked herself on the grass and took out a book and sent her kid off to play. I think I might have drooled because it's been so long since I have been able to read a book....I might have gotten over it though because her little girl peed her pants and the mom just sent her off to play. Poor girl was walking around trying to keep her wet pants from sticking to her leg.

Then another mom's 2 year old had to pee and the mom ran to her car and brought out a potty chair. The bathrooms were right there so I was confused. Then I realized that maybe that is my problem on why Twinkie isn't potty trained yet. I DON'T CARRY AROUND A POTTY! Who knew.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Possibly Depressed?

How can you really tell? I just have been so down lately. It's been hard with the girls. Tater is going through a 'I can't have anyone other than my mom and she better be holding me stage.' I love that she loves me. However, it's impossible to get anything done. I keep telling myself it's just a stage but still. I know I created that but oh well. Then Twinkie has been showing the world that she is two. I am not a spanker but I could've easily done that today.

I want to work but I can't. I think it would be nice for the extra money. We want to add on to our house. Right now, we are on top of each other. It's enough to make anyone go insane. I think I am just in a funk. There is a perfect job for me in the paper. It's even one I have done before. I mean I have my Master's Degree so I am qualified. It would just be too hard working and still picking up Mr. Man from work. The girls would always be at daycare or in the car and that isn't fair to them.

I go through this every 6 months or so. I will be fine in a week. I just need to get my life together. Start working out again. I used to always go in the morning but since Tater came along, I have stopped. My house is a mess, car is a mess. I am behind on everything. Twinkie's room looks like Santa Clause threw up in it. That is the thing about having such a small house. Any tiny mess looks horrible.

Well, maybe things will look up soon. The good news is that I think I finally got through to Mr. Man that I am drowning and maybe he could just chip in and help me this time. We'll see.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Growing up....

I am signing Twinkie up for preschool tomorrow. It was a debate but she wants to go to 'school.' She mentions it everyday. She even goes as far as puts on her backpack and tries to escape out the front door. She thinks that her daddy getting to ride the bus (to work) is the coolest thing ever. She is only two. It makes me kind of sad.

They are just growing up so fast. I wish that our minds were like video cameras. That way I could rewind things and remember things. I take tons of pictures but there are just moments you can't catch on film. Like will I remember the way that Tater scrunches up her face and squeals when she is happy or excited? How about when she rolls over at night and reaches out for me? Will I always remember Twinkie thanking God for all the stars in the sky when she says her prayers? Or how she always tells me "I love you too mommy"? Will I always remember the way that their faces light up when they see me or seek me out in a room?

Being a parent is just such an awesome responsibility. It is hard and overwhelming much of the time. It's like wearing your heart on your sleeve. It makes you vulnerable. It hurts. Yet it is literally the biggest joy I could ever have. I love these two little girls more than anything in the world. Sometimes I just look at them and just wonder how I could be so lucky.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

More Drama

I wrote previously about Mr. Man's co-worker. You know, the Jackass (JA) that has been messing around on his wife. Well I have spoke with her several times since she found out. We have been friendly....or so I thought. I guess this is a like a 'shoot the messenger' moment. I was dropped Mr. Man off at work at she was parked out back waiting for JA. We had just spoke on the phone the week before. Well I pulled up next to her and honked the horn to say hi. She put her head down and wouldn't look up. So that is that. I didn't really expect we could remain friends but how am I the bad person when her JA is the one doing it to her.

Then I find out he has not stopped with this girl. They eat lunch together on a daily basis. He picked her up before work to go to the gym. I just don't understand how he can have such a lack of respect for his wife. I am amazed how a man can do this to his wife and three children. Believe me, skankho girl isn't that great.

Lazy I Am

I am a horrible blogger. I can't believe I just go a month without posting anything. Mostly, it's just laziness. I also think my mom found my blog. If so, hi mom.

Porn at the library

I take Twinkie and Tater to Preschool Story Time at our local library every week. This week, Mr. Man was with us. He was pushing Tater around in her stroller. He came and told me that a man at the computers was watching porn. I thought surely not. Sure enough, I was just walking down the aisle and BAM. It was quite in your face and graphic. I told the librarian that does story time. She wasn't surprised and said that he comes in often and does the same thing. I was shocked. She said that it was his right and that they couldn't censor the Internet.

I am all for free speech. I am not even anti-porn. However, I think that there is a time and place for it. The public library during children's story time is not one of those times. So my very nervy sister in law walked up to him at tapped him on the shoulder. She asked him if she could have his name so that she could check the sex offender registry. She told him it wasn't appropriate to do that during story time. He left.

The problem is that the librarian said he's had people confront him and they've had several complaints. But it's his right. Ugh. I get that but at the very least the library should move the computers or use some kind of monitor shield. I looked up the statutes and basically it's up to individual libraries what kind of Internet access they want to give. I called the other libraries in this area and they all have filters on their computers and would not allow patrons to look at porn.

Our library is in between head librarian and director so there is seriously no where to take the complaint except up to the library board. I spoke with a reporter for our town newspaper and she said that I should write a letter to the editor and go to the next board meeting. If nothing happens then she will take it up. I am so not pro-active but it's just so wrong for children to be exposed to things like that. Just while we were at the library that day, two little girls walked right past him and his huge screen filled with porn.

Geez.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Ugh.

Mr. Man works in retail. He loves his job. It's mostly comission based so he makes good money because for some reason, he is awesome at that kind of job. So two months ago, they had a meeting one Friday night. He text me after the meeting 8:00ish telling me that he was going out for a drink with his friend/co-worker we will call Jackass (JA). We are friends with JA and his family....you know birthday parties, cookouts, that kind of things. No problem.

I called him around 10:30 p.m. to see when he was coming home. No answer. I text him a few times but no response. I called again around midnight....and I was mad so I left him a mean message. Well come 2:30 ish he calls and I have to go pick him up. It isn't as easy at that but I'll just leave it at that for now. Well on the way home, he tells me he was out with JA and two girls from work. It seems that when they were leaving work, the two girls came with them (preplanned by JA). Okay. Usually this wouldn't be an issue but JA is messing around with one of these girls. So it basically was like a double date. Mr. Man denies that of course but like I have told him several times it's all about perception. What married man does that?? These are young 20 year old girls. (Don't even ask me how they are bar hopping).

During the two weeks before this, Mr. Man has told me things that JA tells him about this girl and what they have been doing. Well then he gets a call from JA's wife (at 2:30 a.m.) and she is upset wanting to know where her husband is.

The next day I called JA's wife just to check on her. I was upset at Mr. Man and we were talking about that night. Well her version of the story was so different than mine. She didn't know that they were out with the two girls. So needless to say, I ended up telling her every little thing that I knew about this girl and her husband. Not the best but...wouldn't you want to know? I didn't expect JA to twist everything and make me look like I just took everything Mr. Man told me and got it wrong. Whatever. JA even wanted Mr. Man to tell me that things weren't true and that I took serious what they were joking around. Like JA having this girl over when his wife was out of town. I can't make that up.

The outcome is I think JA has been kicked to the couch. But he still does things with this girl at work so that hasn't stopped. Our friendship is pretty much over because I have no respect for him and really she probably doesn't want to hang out with the woman who told on her husband. I know that JA and Mr. Man don't really hang out anymore.

Last night, there was a sales meeting in the town about an hour away. I had to go and pick up Mr. Man because the two guys that were going to give him a ride home were going to these two girls home to hang out. They were coming up with stories to tell their wives. HELLO! What they hell is it about these two girls that seems to attract married men with families? I am so irritated. JA is out of town or he would probably be there too. Disgusting.

I now most of this probably doesn't make sense but I just had to get it out there. I mean I know these people Mr. Man works with....he's been there for two years. I know their wives and I am just horrified by the behavior that is going on. I wish he could find another job. *sigh*

Monday, February 25, 2008

Poor Twinkie

We started a new church a month and a half ago. Twinkie loves to go. Basically she just goes to the nursery which I think is for ages up to three. We usually keep Tater with us but this last Sunday we went ahead and left her too.

Anyway, about an hour into the service, I heard Tater crying so Mr. Man went to check on her. She was fine. A few minutes later, I heard Twinkie scream crying. Enough that another man also stood up to go and check. I went in the room and was told that a little boy pushed her down. She cried and cried. I sat on the floor and was holding Tater and reading Twinkie a book. She went to go get another book and the same little boy just pushed her again. She tripped over a toy and started crying again. The little boy was put in time out. The only cute part is he kept telling her he was sworry.

Poor Twinkie. When we left she told me she was said because "N" pushed her and that he hurt her and made her cry. I felt so bad for her. She is in the nursery with usually 3-4 other 2 year old boys. She is the only girl. Not that is the whole problem but man those boys are rough. Just when I was in there, they push, hit, throw things. Twinkie isn't really like that. One lady commented to me that Twinkie needs to learn to fight back. Ummm....really? That is the solution?!?

We really like this church so I don't know. Maybe it was just an off week. I don't expect children to always get along but geez. She plays and fights with her cousin (who is 3) and it is never like that. I guess I really don't like to see her feelings hurt. Ugh. What is the future going to be like? Should I just wrap her in bubble wrap right now?