Swingtown.

I just had to say that I love that show. I had the episodes recorded and finally watched them. I always thought I wanted to live in the 50's. Now I want to go back to the 70's. Not to be swingers....well probably not :). But everything was just so cool. Have you ever seen that movie Dazed and Confused? Now they were cool. Seriously.

Check it out. I would actually like one show that I enjoy to stick around. You know in US magazine (or mazagine as Twinkie would say), they gave Army Wives a bad review. I hate that because I really like that show too.

Oh while I am on the subject of TV, I also watched Baby Borrowers last night. I thought it was kind of funny. I couldn't imagine letting some teens watch my baby. I know the parents get to watch them from another location and intervene if they need to, but how sad when the babies would just cry and cry. I would want to go and pick her up. Then I thought it was funny how one girl threw a fit because she didn't want to wear the maternity tummy. Another girl was all offended that the baby's mom came and talked to her. Very mature.

I also watched the Wipeout show. You can tell what I do when everyone goes to bed? Blog and watch TV. Anyway, I laughed because it's always funny when people are getting hurt.

Potty training cont.

Potty training continues. I was lazy for a few days and so it was diapers. Today, Twinkie had no accidents. Very cool. She even wanted to wear her panties to bed but we are not even close to that. She is excited to use the potty. It is actually so cute because she just beams everytime she goes. I guess it really is true that they are ready when they are ready.

Previously, my mom said that I would probably have to spank her. Ummm...yeah, that would've worked. Twinkie just wants to go to school and she knows that she has to be potty trained to do it. She has another two months so we are doing good.

Today we did absolutely nothing. We seriously played in the floor most of the day. I would show you a picture of my living room but it's just embarrassing. I am trying to ignore the mess right now. The good news is I have most of the playroom put together. The bad news is half of my livingroom is full of things that came out of there. We are thinking of having a yard sale. I just can't decide what to do with the baby stuff. Keep it....sell it? Hmmmm...

I feel a little better today. Maybe I can blame it on PMS. Which I have to tell you, I always heard that when you had children, things because better in that area. THEY WERE LYING. I am still not talking to my sister in law. I will continue being childish. She probably doesn't even notice. haha

In a lighter note....

Seriously, they are so darn cute. I just had to share.

I am boring.

I haven't posted because I am not sure that I have anything interesting to say. My life has been pretty boring. I have been grumpy this week and I don't know why. Tonight, I let my sister in law offend me so now I am being childish and I am not talking to her. How mature of me to know that I am being childish right? The girls and I went to my nephews baseball game. I asked her if I could sit where her carseat was so that I could park Tater next to me. She asked me where she was supposed to put him (my nephew in his carseat). I just told her that it probably didn't matter since it wasn't like he was watching the game.

Then her 3 year old told me that he was going to pour gatorade on me. I told him that wasn't nice. He sat next to me and she had him move. I told her he could sit by me and she said that he couldn't because I had a bad attitude. Seriously. Whatever. I told her that I apologized for invading her space and took my children and moved to different bleachers.

She can be a bitch for weeks and we are all supposed to live with it. I am grumpy and she won't let her kid sit next to me. WHATEVER. I am so irritated with her. I mean it's more than that but nothing I really want to go into. Another story for another time.


I did go to the meeting about the sex offender. He lives behind us about a mile back. We live in the country is it's only like four houses away. I don't know, the meeting was kind of vague. I guess he lives next door to his brother who is also a registered sex offender. Doesn't that make you wonder how their childhood was. I mean is that common to have two sex offenders in the same family? I have seen if before but the times I have seen it, it was a dad and his son.

There was a post on the message board about CPS visiting a family. I didn't read all of it because it was so long. However, I miss that life. I am not sure I miss the job. I mean it's a hard job for not alot of money. I guess I just miss doing something that was...I don't know. Important maybe. Not that being a mom isn't....it's just different.

I know my feelings would be different now. I may have mentioned this in the past but when I worked as an investigator, I didn't have children. I think my mindset has shifted. I feel differently about things. Maybe more strict on some things and less on others. I don't know if that makes sense. I was always pretty liberal anyway with things like dirty houses and stuff like that. I just had no patience for women that wouldn't protect their children and I feel even stronger about that now.

It's strange to think of all the children I have removed from their homes. I know quite a few of them never went back. I know happy endings and not so happy endings. Sometimes I wish I still worked there just because when I did, I could keep up with them. Now, I just don't know.

One of the last cases I had was horrible and it was one of the main reasons I moved to Foster Care/Adoptions. I had the case off and on for over a year. I knew the children, they knew me. I had been to the home over and over. Finally it was too much. The children were removed. Then it was a complete shift with the family. I remember once I was in my office and the two girls were visiting their mom (ages 10 and 11). They were outside my window and all of a sudden one of the girls is pounding on it and calling me names. She came in the building running through the halls shouting for 'that bitch' which was me. She had to be physically restrained.

At court, the mom threatened me and I had to be escorted from the building my security. Another time, she was in the parking lot and an officer had to escort me again. I had to stay in my office if any of the family was in the building. I realized I couldn't do that anymore. It wasn't worth it. I am sad for the situation even now and it's been three years. Last I heard, the children were being freed for adoption. What a sad situation.

I was in a city too and that makes alot of difference. There, we would get a few cases a day. Here, it's like a few a week. We think about moving back sometimes. I would like too. I could be a supervisor. Then I think what it's like for Twinkie growing up near family and she loves them so much. I just don't know. I don't want to live here, but I don't want to move. I just know how much I loved being raised with my cousins and my huge family. I want that for my children too I just don't know how not to be selfish about it and want something else.

I am so unhappy right now I don't even know how to change it. I don't know what will make me happy. Moving? Working? Counseling? Drugs?

Any answers??

Potty training.

We are doing it today and it's not going so horrible. Usually by now she would have tons of accidents. She doesn't want to sit on the training seat though, just the normal toilet. We'll see. I am hopeful. My advice for parents though. Potty train before you have a baby. I think it makes a little harder when you have to stop places or go potty 500 times lugging a baby around. Maybe I am just lazy.

I am going to a meeting tonight. I guess a Violent Sexual Offender is moving in our neighborhood. We live in a pretty rural area and the notice was rather vague about the area so we'll see. He could be in the next town. But the meeting is just down the road so it makes me think it's closer to us. I barely want to live here. Seriously, it's a tiny town. Why would you move here being public enemy #1? It's very odd. Everyone knows everyone. If you want to blend in, wouldn't you live in a city? When we lived in a city, I would go weeks/months without seeing anyone I knew in public. Here, NEVER. I grew up here and I remember I would walk down the road and my dad would get a few calls before I even made it home wondering what I was doing.

He's probably moving in with his girlfriend and her four kids. I made them up but I am sure they exist. When I worked for CPS, I can't tell you how many times I saw this.

~It was different, he wouldn't do that to my kids.
~But I love him.
~My daughter is lying...she wants attention...her grandparents put her up to it.
~She is jealous.

It was so sad. I don't mean to go on and on but I remember once this little girl (around 10) telling me how sad she was that her mom didn't believe her. She later tried to take back her story because her mom was upset at her for messing up her relationship. Did you know that when children recant, they are probably telling the truth? I don't know the stats but I have heard that several times. I can't tell you how many interviews I watched with little kids. It was always the boyfriend. Seriously. Then when babies were hurt, it was always that damn couch.

Why I am even talking about this? Ugh. I will update you on the meeting. My old state was so different than this one so it will be interesting to say the least.

Our Anniversary.

Today is our anniversary. Woo hoo for us. We went out to dinner and it was okay. We had never been there before. We are usually pretty basic. I mean we have two children so it's not like we get out a lot. When we do eat out, I try to pick the most kid friendly places as I can. So this place was opposite that. You know where the food looks like art. I had roasted chicken. It was good. The potatoes were strange....maybe too lemony. I don't know. Mr. Man had two different beef things. The best part was dessert where I had what was officially called "Hazelnut Banana Torte." It was really like a piece of banana bread with ice cream on it. I felt like I was on an episode of 'Top Chef' that I love. I actually recognized things on the menu because of the show. See, I learned something from television.

Tater missed me. When we picked her up from my sister in laws house, she lunged toward me. Then she tried to pull down my shirt. So it wasn't me she missed but my boobs. Poor baby.

We have lost control of bedtime in our house. I don't even know how to get it back. I think it's a summer thing because I remember it being like this last year. A couple times a week we watch my nephews play baseball and we get home late those nights. Then the times we have to go and pick up Mr. Man from work. It just throws are schedule off so then the girls are wound up and it always takes them forever to go to sleep. Then Twinkie usually ends up in our bed before morning. I never even hear her come in. I will just wake up and there she is sleeping. I don't care that she is there but I feel like I should. I don't know if that makes sense or not but I figure she won't be sleeping with us when she is in high school. However, Tater might.

My grandma's birthday (part 2)

I meant to add this before but my great-grandma just celebrated her 90th birthday. Isn't that crazy? I never realized that she was getting so old. She looks old too and it makes me sad. For the last few years she has not been in the best of health. She's had diabetes for awhile, then last year had some heart problems. Plus, she is extremely heavy so now she is in a wheelchair and needs help doing things. It makes me sad even to write about it because I know we don't have much longer with her.

My parents were young when they had me. My mom turned 18 like two weeks before I was born. I spent almost everyday at my great-grandma's house. She would watch children all day. I remember once there were twins there named Mandy and Candy. That always cracked me up.

Anyway, usually there were my cousins coming in and out of her house. We would spend the day playing. We ran around the front yard and played capture the flag. We climbed her apple tree and ate those horrible crab apples. We walked to Blake's and paid 25 cents for flavored ice. We had kool-aid stands on the corner of her road. If I had to actually say it, times at her house with my cousins were the best times of my childhood. We would stay the night with her every New Year's Eve while all of our parents went out. Then at midnight, we would hit pots and pans together until a neighbor got mad at us.

It's funny because she still lives in the same house but things are so much different. For one, her yard was so big to me when I was little and even though it's the same size now, it seems so much smaller. The apple tree I fell out of when I was about 8, I can now reach the branches. She had a dip in her yard that we would all sit in and talk. That dip now could probably only fit one adult.

Times have changed too. The corner we had kool-aid stands on is now one of the busiest roads in the town. I would NEVER let my child make that walk to Blake's. Well I guess now none of us would even send our children to the front yard to play. We would all be safety enclosed in our backyards.

I guess at that time my great-grandma was already in mid/late 60's when she was taking care of me. I don't really remember my great-grandma during that time, just the fun I had. She used to give us stockings every Christmas until there got to be too many of us. I can't imagine how many grandkids she has now. She had seven children so you do the math. I do know that she has 9 great-great grandchildren. When I was born, we had 5 generations. When my nephew was born, it was five again. Pretty cool.

There are things I should find about about my family. You know that my grandma (from the same side of the family) had my dad when she was 15. I can't imagine being pregnant that young in the 50's. I have never talked to her about how it was. I need to because I have always been curious. I have also always joked how I would be the perfect 50's wife. Then I wouldn't have so much conflict about working/not working.

But folks, that is a whole other blog entry.

My grandma's birthday.

Well actually it is my great-grandmother. We went to her birthday party on Saturday. It was kind of annoying because I only heard a rumor about a party on Thursday so I called my grandma to confirm. She said that invitations barely were sent out. Usually things in my family are potluck but nobody knew if this was the case. Then it said to RSVP but didn't have anyone to RSVP to. Anyway, so we went.

Of course they ran out of food. Well they had hot dogs. But if you see my previous post, maybe it's better than we didn't really get the chance to eat. That's like last weekend we went to my cousin's son's birthday. She ran out of party bags. So Twinkie didn't get one and was all upset. Hello? Shouldn't you have enough for the children that you invite. We RSVP'd. It's not like we need a party bag but when all the other children have one and she doesn't, it's not pleasant.

I guess I am a planner. I do not understand how I come from a family that are NOT planners. I am usually on time to things and I come from a family that are always late. Even Saturday, the party started at 11:30 a.m. and I tried to get there late because I should know how it is. I didn't there until almost noon and there were like 2 people there. Ugh.

My mom is classic. My sister's birthday is on Thursday (she will be 11). I keep asking her what she is doing but they have no clue. She complains that nobody will be there but seriously...what do you expect when you don't plan? I am already planning the girls birthday and I still have two months. But you know what?? People come to my things. That pisses my mom off too. She really expects us to keep weekends open when it's time for her kid's birthdays. We have missed so many because she just doesn't plan. A little effort, that is all.

I was going to rent a bouncy house for Twinkie and Tater's birthday (we are having them together). I got a huge eye roll about that one. Whatever.

Sick.

Two nights ago, Twinkie woke up about 1:30 a.m just screaming. Mr. Man went to check on her and I heard her tell him that she spit in her bed (aka vomit). So we got her up, cleaned everything, dressed her in new pj's and laid her down in our bed. I guess since it was middle of the night, we weren't prepared because she threw up on our bed. So we stripped our bed and put on new sheets, changed her pj's and cleaned her up again.

Finally, I put her in her clean bed and she is half asleep. About 30 minutes later, repeat above. Finally, she is in clean jammies and laying on the recliner with a towel under her. I finally got smart and had a trash can ready. She didn't really get the concept but it helped. I slept next to her for most of the night and then Mr. Man took the early morning shift. She was kind of sluggish most of Father's Day but she wanted nachos that night so I figure she is okay.

It was just so sad when she said that she spit in her bed, our bed, on the chair and her bed again.

Okay, so then I am sick. I woke up that morning kind of down but by 9:00 a.m. I was also 'spitting' and feeling horrible. Needless to say, Mr. Man had a crappy Father's Day. He took care of Tater most of the day while me and Twinkie slept and watched T.V. I feel better today but my stomach is still kind of tender.

I bet we ate something. Who knows. I know we both had some guacamole at a party. How can you mess up guacamole? So I think my aunt was trying to kill us.

Fuzzy supermodel and cranky monkey.

uh huh

Don't you love when conversations start out like "I am not trying to tell you how to parent, but you are going to have to spank her." Just a quote from my mom.

Moving on....

We went to a birthday party this last weekend for my cousin's 2 year old. It was during his naptime so that was fun. He pretty much didn't want to do anything and kept crying and stomping around. Why would you have a party during naptime? Then my cousin married a 'perfect' family. I know you know the kind I am talking about. I feel kind of bad for her because there is a lot of pressure on her to be like them. One of them had a daughter named 'Bentley'. Enough said.

Today, Mr. Man was off work. We went to Target. It's like an hour away so it was the highlight of my month. Of course, I spend too much money everytime I go there. I bought the girls some cute shirts, a few toys, and a book for me. Mostly I was looking for a shelf but didn't find anything I liked. Shocking I know. I do have a list for what I want next time I go.

Tomorrow I am staying home and cleaning my mess of a house. I told Mr. Man if CPS came over they would probably take our kids away. I know, I used to work there. Well, maybe it's not CPS bad but it could go there unless I get control of the mess.

OKAY.....DISCLAIMER. FOLLOWING STORY IS THE WORST HOUSE I EVER SAW WHILE WORKING FOR CPS.

So myself and another worker went to this home. I think it was a trailer if I remember right. The report was that the children were sleeping outside and the house was a mess. Well, when the woman opened the door, the smell just overwhelmed you. I thought I was going to be sick. I had even put Vicks under my nose (smelly house trick). The floor was just matted carpet (pee and feces everywhere). In the kitchen, there was a hole in the floor that showed the ground. The fridge was completely black on the inside.

There was just a couch and bed. Well and this huge cat castle. I can't remember how many animals she had but it was quite a few. She said that the kids liked sleeping outside (even though they admitted to doing it to get away from the smell). Now this part is horrible....so she is taking us through the home and she shows us the bathroom and just flips the light on and off real quick. My coworker asked her to turn it on again and the whole bathroom was a huge litter box. Seriously, there was just a thick layer of kitty litter on the floor and that is where the cats went. Ewwwww.....

The funniest part is when we got there, she was just sitting on her couch reading a romance novel. Those kids weren't removed. So I guess my house does have a ways to go for that to happen.

Long day.

We had Mr. Man's company picnic today. It was fun. I usually only like the giveaways even though I never win. We always win a stupid kid toy. Same thing this year. It's one of those game things you hook to the T.V. I was hoping for at least a toy that I could regift. Oh well. I wanted to win the iPod or the outdoor fire pit. That would have been nice.

They had a bouncy house and I think Twinkie jumped for 3 hours straight. She loves those things. I am one of those moms that lets her on even though the older kids want to go crazy. Then they have to slow down because she is so little. The funny part of the day is that she pretended to be lost even though I could see her. The first time she was talking to a girl about 12 or 13. I didn't think anything of it and then the girl picked her up. I got to her just as a man was asking her what her mommy's name was and Twinkie looking all sad. The second time I was like 10 feet away. Maybe she just has that look of a abandoned child about her. She milks it too. She also had like 5 sno-cones and some cotton candy. No wonder she had so much energy to bounce that much. She never wanted to leave. I had to bribe her with renting one for her birthday. Is that too much? Hmmm....

Jackass and his family wasn't there. That was a good thing. Even though there were tons of people there, I just didn't want them to show up. Skankho wasn't there either. Hmmm...last I heard, Jackass's family was out of town so it wouldn't surprise me if he and Skankho decided to take advantage of that.

And for the last thing of the evening, Twinkie put together a puzzle. Now, Mr. Man thinks she is a genius. I am thinking I should go to bed. Today was long with the heat and being out all day. Plus, this morning I did tons of hula hooping on the Wii fit. I am too lazy to do anything else. Mr. Man is asleep on the couch. Which kind of makes me wonder why I am still watching the stupid NBA finals. Especially since I know Army Wives is on. I love that show.

Back from the in-laws

We just got back from visiting my in-laws. They are about 500 miles away. It was a nice trip. I kind of wish we could've stayed another day or two. Shocking huh? It's kind of nice to have someone that wants to watch your kid. I think one day I even slept until like 8:00 a.m. My girls love their grammy and she adores them. Twinkie didn't want to leave. We usually see them every couple of months.

Mr. Man and I have flirted with the idea of moving there. It's a nice town. Much bigger than where we are now with a lower cost of living. For example, if we bought here it would be like $100,000 more here than in their town. I am totally serious about that too. It's crazy. We'll see.

I would feel bad about leaving my family but I am not sure it would be that big of deal. I don't know. I am tired, it was a long trip. Goodnight.