Poor Twinkie

We started a new church a month and a half ago. Twinkie loves to go. Basically she just goes to the nursery which I think is for ages up to three. We usually keep Tater with us but this last Sunday we went ahead and left her too.

Anyway, about an hour into the service, I heard Tater crying so Mr. Man went to check on her. She was fine. A few minutes later, I heard Twinkie scream crying. Enough that another man also stood up to go and check. I went in the room and was told that a little boy pushed her down. She cried and cried. I sat on the floor and was holding Tater and reading Twinkie a book. She went to go get another book and the same little boy just pushed her again. She tripped over a toy and started crying again. The little boy was put in time out. The only cute part is he kept telling her he was sworry.

Poor Twinkie. When we left she told me she was said because "N" pushed her and that he hurt her and made her cry. I felt so bad for her. She is in the nursery with usually 3-4 other 2 year old boys. She is the only girl. Not that is the whole problem but man those boys are rough. Just when I was in there, they push, hit, throw things. Twinkie isn't really like that. One lady commented to me that Twinkie needs to learn to fight back. Ummm....really? That is the solution?!?

We really like this church so I don't know. Maybe it was just an off week. I don't expect children to always get along but geez. She plays and fights with her cousin (who is 3) and it is never like that. I guess I really don't like to see her feelings hurt. Ugh. What is the future going to be like? Should I just wrap her in bubble wrap right now?

Baby Nephew is here

Well my new nephew 'J' is here. He is adorable. My sister in law ended up having to get a C section. So he came out all round and not puffy and squashed. You all know what I mean! He is still in the hospital because of blood sugar issues but he should be home tomorrow. Twinkie is so excited to go and see him. She doesn't understand why Ainee is still in the hospital. She did get to see J through the window and she said, "look, there is kuncle's baby." She calls my brother kuncle. How funny.

It almost makes me want another baby. I am stressing the ALMOST. I still have a baby, my chunk munk. But newborn babies are so sweet and soft. They don't bite and screech yet. :) I am not sure I would ever have three kids. Three seems like so many. I am not sure you should have more children than adults. It could be a scary thing when they outnumber you.

I signed up for a knitting class. How dedicated is that? I actually am not doing horrible on my own. Not great, but not horrible so we'll see. Everyone be prepared.....I know that I am so artistic. It's just bottled up inside me but when it comes out, don't say that I didn't warn you. I will be brilliant.

Life goes on....

Twinkie keeps telling me: "It's nice to meet you."

She must of met someone yesterday but it's funny. We finally went to MOPS yesterday. It was nice. Twinkie loves it and Tater didn't even do that bad. It was the first time I had ever put Tater in the nursery. She actually did very well. There were four women in there for like five babies so the odds were good. Maybe an hour and half in she started crying. I think she just wanted to nurse and go to sleep. I fed her and she went back in and went to sleep. Of course, I missed most of my class but it's a start. She went to the nursery the other day for church and made it like 30 minutes. Slowly....

So my class was knitting. I want to be a great knitter but I am not. I know, practice, practice, practice. So now I have things I am doing....probably both scarves since that is all I am ever going to be able to make. I was thinking about going to a class in the next town over. I thought about going today to see if they by chance have a class when Mr. Man is off work. Wouldn't that be great? I want to be crafty so bad....I just really suck at it. I made candles for Christmas and you just don't know how excited I was by that! They were even soy candles. How very green of me....less pollution. (I hate to say this but they don't smell as good as my Yankee Candles). I thought about scrapbooking but who has the time. I honestly think Twinkie has used every sticker I have ever had in my scrapbooking pile. Oh well, someday.

Another class choice was fondant. I should've taken that one. My sister in law and I made a cake once for my grandparents anniversary. I might even say it bordered on looking professional. I have been wanting to try fondant but it scares me. Hmmm...when did I get so boring? Knitting, cooking, scrapbooking?? Wow....

My new nephew is being born today. Woo hoo. I asked Twinkie if she wanted to go see Ainee's (that is how she says it) new baby and that she has a baby like Tater. I think she thinks that I am giving Tater to Ainee and she is all for that. I think she might even be packing Tater a bag.

Parenting

I think I am a good parent. I wouldn't say that I am great but I do the best I can. When I was younger I used to think that I could never have kids because I was such an impatient person. I just didn't see the attraction with other people's children. When I had Twinkie, it changed. I am not saying that a transformation happened overnight but I became a person with more patience. Sure I get frustrated sometimes but I am so much calmer than I ever thought possible. It's strange to say, but my marriage even improved. Before Twinkie, I sometimes wonder if we would've made it for the long haul. Now, I have no doubt. If anything, I couldn't imagine Mr. Man not in my children's lives. My daughter loves her daddy so unconditionally that whatever happened, I would make my marriage work.

Wow, I have gotten way off the subject. I am being very melodramatic tonight.

Anyway, we went out tonight for my brother's birthday. It was with my brother's family and my parents and their children. I hate going out with my family. I honestly feel like I am being judged for my parenting skills or lack of them all the time. My dad has made several comments about my kids always screaming....how he never sees them without one of them crying....how it is being in public with them. He and my brother also basically told me that my children were 'high maintance.' So when I am with them, I am supersensitive about Twinkie's behavior. She is a good kid and I am not even just saying that because she's mine. Even my sister in law commented on how tense I am when my dad is there.

We get to dinner and Twinkie had fallen asleep. She slept in the booth for a little and basically woke up right before our food came. She was cranky and being whiney. Then Tater kept screetching. Between the two of them....so I ended up getting my food to go and left. Ugh. I don't know why I let it get to me. I was in tears on my way home. I am 31 years old and I still let my parents make me feel like I am 10 and I am playing the parent part even though I have no right to. Then I also feel like I make constant excuses....like she's tired or we did too much.

WHY?!

I think she is a normal 2 year old. She has her moments but they don't happen all the time. We can go days without a tantrum or without her getting in trouble. Then we have days where she melts down. I take both kids to eat out with other people and I never have a problem. Maybe when Twinkie was around a year and half, we had issues going to the store with her wanting out of the cart or yelling for things. Now, they both go grocery shopping with me. Granted, if she doesn't get her nap she is a bear but I usually try to plan accordingly. My sister in law thinks that my parents stress me out and my kids are reacting off of me when we are with them. It makes sense in a way.

I know most of it is that my parents and I have completely different discipline methods. I am not a spanker and probably never will be. I worked CPS too long and interviewed too many kids. I know my limitations. I never judge other people with what they do. My parents think my problem is that Twinkie lacks discipline (ie: spanking). However, nobody is home with me during the days. When someone sees a child maybe once a week, how can they know how it is? Often I am made fun of for using timeouts. BUT THEY WORK FOR US!! But it seems like they want time outs not to work. Needless to say, I feel like I get alot of 'told you so' and 'you know how to fix that.'

Okay, I am getting teary again. I need to grow up. I am just so sad. I feel like I need my parents approval or something. But why should that surprise me, it's been that way my whole life. Is it too much to ask for them to think I am a good parent and maybe just let me know?

Candy, Candy, Candy

Happy Valentine's Day!

Twinkie is seriously on a major sugar high right now. We made cupcakes today and I have seen Mr. Man give her at least two....plus some candy that grandma and her aunt gave her. Needless to say, bedtime should be interesting.

Earlier she fell and we had this conversation:

Twinkie: I crying.
Me: Why are you crying?
Twinkie: Cuz I sad.
Me: Why are you sad?
Twinkie: Cuz I crying.
Me: Why are you crying?

Well you see how the conversation goes. I wonder how long we could keep it up?

Silly girl

My day today was filled with Twinkie-isms. She cracks us up. If I tell her that I love her....she replies with:

"...more than anything in the world." Could anything be cuter?

Then I was watching Jeopardy and she came and told me that she didn't want to watch it. She wanted to watch Spongebob. I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to watch Jeopardy and this was her response:

"But I don't wanna watch Jepodee." I made her repeat that statement at least 10 times. So Spongebob won out. Should I be proud that she can name all the characters?

She also started praying at night. Usually Mr. Man puts her to bed unless he has to work late. Her prayer goes like this:

"Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for this mommy day."

Everyday I marvel how awesome she is. Her sister, my chuncky munk, is pretty great too. Tonight, I definately feel lucky.

Paint

I do not have the ability to pick a paint color. In our last house, our kitchen was this horrible yellow color. As soon as I started painting the wall I could tell that it wasn't the beautiful yellow color that I was dreaming about. However, it's like we had to commit to that color. It was also the first time we painted ourselves without hiring someone.

My advice would be if you decide to take on a painting project yourself, don't decide to do the kitchen. It's a room that everyone sees. Maybe start with a nice hall closet. Needless to say, it was ugly and I cringed each day when I came home.

Now, we are in a different house and I am having problems with my bathroom. It seems like such a stupid thing to obsess about but I guess I need to focus on something. Right now, most of my bathroom is a horrible bright orange. Once again, not the beautiful burnt orange I was dreaming about. I do not know how I can get it so wrong. Yesterday, I bought this nice blue/green color and I finally think I have it right. This is the fourth color in the bathroom. Yep, four different colors. I haven't actually painted the whole bathroom but mostly just parts of the wall. Right now, the wall I am staring at is four different colors. Purdy!!

Now the problem. I have so much paint because I change my mind all the time. I have gallons and gallons. Twenty five dollars a gallon isn't cheap either. Ugh. It's one of the things Mr. Man and I disagree about. He thinks if we pay for it, we should use it. I agree in a way but do you really want to be stuck with a horrible wall just because your wife is wishy-washy? Yep, he would. I secretly think he's color blind and that is why it doesn't matter to him. That would explain why he thinks that Twinkie can wear plaid pants with a flower shirt. Hmmm....

Okay, I now notice that the new bathroom color clashes with the livingroom wall. WHAT DO I DO?

Being a horrible SAHM

It's true. I am. I guess I am one of those women that did not give staying at home much thought. There weren't really any other options at the time. I wonder all the time if my daughters get enough from me. Would they be better in daycare where they get to play with other kids and be stimulated more than I know they are at home?

Twinkie is just so smart and I feel that I am lacking. I just do not have an unlimited enthusiasm for Play-do. Who does? I can only make so many pizzas and balls that she ends up throwing around the house. She could probably already be potty trained. However, I think I am just too lazy to do it.

Should we even discuss Tater? She needs to be held constantly. If I move out of her sight for even a second, I am punished by her screaming her head off. I know she is a creature of my own making. However, who would think that a 6 month old held so much power?

There will be more....I just needed to break the ice.

ETA: 2/13 I re-read this post and it makes me kind of cringe. I love being home with my daughters. At this point, I would not make the choice to go back to work. However, I do miss the money but living on one income is doable.

The last few weeks have been rough. We had close to three feet of snow. Mr. Man has to take our four wheel drive to work so the girls and I have been stuck in the house. We finally got out the other day to have lunch with my mom but that's been it. Tomorrow will actually be the first day he might be able to take his car to work. All of our activities have been cancelled due to the weather. I think we all have cabin fever. Needless to say, I do wonder if Twinkie gets enough being home with me. I would say that she usually does but lately it seems like we watch too much TV and do the same things everyday.

She is just so smart and I want to encourage that but I do have a baby (that is having seperation anxiety) to take care of too. I think it's just difficult right now because Tater thinks that she can't live without sight of me. Very flattering but hard at the same time.

Whew...okay, just trying to clarify. I am praying the sun comes out and we can get back to life.