Saturday, July 26, 2008

We are moving.

Well not any time soon but we have a plan. That is always a start. When we moved here, it was never meant to be forever. Now two children later, we need to figure out what we want to do. So in one and half years or so we are moving to the town an hour away. We will still be close to my family but far enough away for me to be able to keep my sanity. I love my family but it's so hard living next door to them. I have mentioned this before, but we are just so different from them. We need to get our cars paid off and by then we will be mostly out of debt.

This is kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. It isn't the reason but more of a sum of everything that happens. Twinkie did something that she shouldn't have. I think it was more parent error than toddler error so she had to sit down and that was that. Then a little while later, I am sitting there with my sister in law, brother, and mom. My sister in law says, "Don't get offended but I think you should've spanked her." Ummm...anytime someone starts a sentence like that, you know you will be offended. I just told her that we had different views about discipline and left like that. However, I was seething. I was kicking myself for not saying anything. When I complained to my mom her reply was that she would've said it if my sister in law didn't.

It is nobody's flucking business how I discipline my children. My sister in law is my friend....a very good friend and of all people knows how it irritates me when my parents criticize me like that. I was so upset and it might be a little childish but I feel betrayed by her. I will remain friends with her but it will take me a long time to trust her again. I know that might sound like an overreaction on my part but you should just take my word for it.

So it's just all the little things that add up to me hating it here. I hate that I am judged by them. I hate that my mom is so negative to me about everything. I hate how everything we do with or buy our children is compared to what everyone else has. The hardest thing is that my parents have young children at home. So even though they are grandparents, they have children not much older than mine and that makes for a very strange dynamic.

Mr. Man and I finally had a long, overdue talk and he is on board with us leaving. He loves it here. But the fact is, he doesn't interact with my family that much so why would it bother him? He doesn't live it day in and day out. Now that I have started telling him all the comments and things that happen with the kids, he believes me. Twinkie will miss her cousins and I am sad about that. I would've loved for them to go to the same school and grow up together. However, we will still see them.

I have to get out for my sanity, however selfish that may be.


AFRo said...

Please know that you are not alone. We live next door to my in laws and they adopted my two nephews just about the time that my first child was born. So, mine are 5 & 7 and theirs are 7 & 9.

It's been almost two years now since we became neighbors and I'm pretty sure that's where one should draw the line because like you said, I'm sick to death of trying to keep up.

Not to mention that I feel my children are being shortchanged when it comes to their grands because they never ever get time alone with them.

Hang in there girl and we can pray for one another until we find a way out of this mess.

Mandy said...

Thank you so much Afro. I hate that your in the same situation but it's nice to have that in common with someone. I feel so bad sometimes that I resent my kids miss out with my parents. I know that my brothers can't help it and they are just little kids. It was just hard when my parents adopted them because we all weren't really in favor of it and my mom went through with it anyway, which she had every right to do. Anyway, that might not make much sense.

I will pray for you. I actually feel like there is some light at the end of the tunnel and believe me, I have both hands on that lifeline.